


denial

by literaryFRIVOLOUSneophyte



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Freeform, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 22:55:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/984612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literaryFRIVOLOUSneophyte/pseuds/literaryFRIVOLOUSneophyte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the ocean makes up a large percentage of beforus’s surface and 71% of earth. altogether that equals the amount of space meenah takes up in your heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	denial

**Author's Note:**

> barely edited because im a lazy ass.  
> music suggestion to read to  
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMTEtDBHGY4  
> 

who is the tsunami and who is the hurricane  
that is the unanswered secret of your life, and long ago the answer was washed away. if you dug deep enough you might find it buried under the sand but how much would you have to change to go that far down

the ocean teems with life and she’s perpetually volatile in an aquarium. duties and responsibilities and empires and you still haven’t apologized for telling her you don’t care what aranea says, if she spent a little more time listening to you she would know what you meant. the waves hit the rocks and splattered

slowly you notice she would rather listen to insects buzzing in a cage that grows smaller and smaller in his head than you. that perhaps your voice has worn down the mountains so the raindrops that have fallen gather into lakes, freeze into icicles and melt to the sea. where each is forgotten and no one is honest enough

red hot against the water you want to lay alongside her and you want to see the first expression on her face when she wakes up each night, you want to know her first thoughts like you know the first word she spoke. you yearn to be vulnerable, you want to close your sour eyes finally and cry out your worries. the only weakness you want to worry of is what will become of her without you.

you like to think you were the best for her, and could have been better forever. instead you could turn down the music and tell everyone, yes, you were in the wrong.

moonlights dapples her cheekbones. she giggles as the water reaches her toes, and she is mean but she is meenah, and you would have loved to follow her into space. you would bow before her, you would have listened to her orders. this is love, you tell yourself. this is destiny. you dedicate yourself to meenah peixes in your songs but

it’s her fire spirit you want

it’s the photographs you keep in trunks of the two of you before you went off to the academy to stir potions and learn magical theory, before you boarded a ship and explored booze and the bodies of others. wood groans on the waves, nautical hands and marine backs. each pair of lips you kissed weren’t as curved as hers

(you have kissed her cheeks and her nose but never once have you stretched your desperation along the coral reefs and known the color of her tongue and saliva on velvet) you were so close once and then you were seas apart and then she was away on the moon, digging in the sand and finding your heart in every step. ignoring you

you want meenah peixes like you want her confidence and pride

you want to be gold in her mind. she polishes her statues, and her fingers could be salt water brushing over your hips, over your eyelids and toes and intertwining with your own hands. she is happy with herself.

she is happy without you.

she is without you and you cannot understand why. you miss this every day, you miss being combined.

the ocean makes up a large percentage of beforus’s surface and 71% of earth. altogether that equals the amount of space meenah takes up in your heart.

the only thing she would admit to sharing with you now is teeth and gills. if you so much as set sail in the same sea as her she would swim away with your crew and out into the stars once more. she would run away

she always runs away. she ran away in the middle of a sentence that started with “i” and ended with “you.” you almost said in sweeps ago, hands in her hair, her tightly braided beautiful hair. you would love to tell her you love her with every breath. seadwellers do not have to breathe underwater. the universe is said to go on forever.

her eyelashes are so thick and the whiteness of her eyes is sea foam and pearls, a strong resistance against the yellow of your claws in her skin, holding her back when you offered her your heart

porrim reminds you that she doesn’t owe you anything, and you know you should accept that distance along with many other facts in your life but

your existence is one long denial

if you are all dead then maybe you are in mourning.

who is the hurricane and who is the tsunami


End file.
